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Aug
27
2013

Jennifer Law

My name Jennifer and I am a recent Impact195 graduate! I’d like to share a little about how I got here and my experiences after just one year. Have any of you wondered about timing and why things happen in your life? Could you fathom God’s perfect timing? Or what about leap of faith? A year ago, I had no real grasp of what that meant. In fact, a year ago, one event caused me to doubt and question everything. I see know how God was looking out for me, speaking to me, clearing my mind, and saving me. Last summer in 2012 I had a day where I felt like everything I had worked hard for was finally paying off. You see, I thought that as long as I was a good person and worked hard, I could eventually get to the “American Dream” that we were taught as little kids. I had worked hard to earn my education and get my degree in four years at UCSD.

 

I worked hard to get my job and those great benefits in the IT industry. I worked hard with family and friends to maintain those relationships and I worked hard at a nine-year relationship. August 9th marked a special day in my twenty-five years of life; after a year of house hunting, I was finally about to be a young San Diego homeowner with my boyfriend, in a great neighborhood. And then… we would get married and live happily ever after right? That same night, my nine-year relationship ended…it was in God’s perfect timing.

 

I knew there was more out there. But as I questioned these things, running thoughts of anger, humiliation, and shame came to mind. I sat at church and God spoke to me through the pastor sharing 1 Corinthians 10:31 “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” It was that simple, He wanted to refocus my mind to just trust and follow Him. There was more to life than having a perfect house, job, or boyfriend. I found myself at Open House for Impact195 and immediately knew God was calling me to join. But, at the same time, I was filled with doubts. And that was when God used someone else, to speak to me about taking a leap of faith. Leap of faith? I had no idea what that even meant, until 2 hours later when leap of faith showed up in front of my face. The logistical thinker that I am, I knew that these recent events were no coincidence. God is alive, was present, pursuing me, and bringing me back to Him. I started my first term and my world was rocked, learning about love and relationships, He began restoring my heart. I’ll never forget our one week journey to Catalina. We went as strangers and came back with an unexplainable bond, so much so that our inside jokes transpired into history for Impact195 history! After only two weeks I felt different!

 

Then, before the start of term 2, God was telling me to take a leap of faith again, and this time without hesitation, I did it. In less than a month, my prayers were answered but in a way I did not expect. Bitterness came. Anger came. Trust issues, all came back…In God’s perfect timing. I entered into term 2, broken and raw, but that was what allowed God to really work in me, on much deeper-rooted issues that I had from my past. He helped me realize that my walls and insecurities were rooted not just from broken relationships, but from years of false perceptions and wrong identities, and God was the only one who could restore them. Right after term 2, I was given an opportunity to travel the Promised Land, going from Egypt to Jordan, and Israel experiencing the words we were reading come to life form the Bible. Walking through the route God had promised His children, learning about opportunities and decision making and unpacking the importance of knowing that God will meet us in the present. I learned what it meant to have a weaned soul within us during the crazy times in our life, and be still in Him knowing that He will meet us in the present, not in the past and not in the future. Then, right before the start of term 3, I was laid off.

 

In God’s perfect timing! I got a chance to apply what I learned! God spoke to my heart, “Jennifer, be still and know that I’m God.” What I came to realize now, was exactly how God worked in His perfect timing. It was in His perfect timing that the doors that closed on the house, relationship, and career brought me to a life with actual purpose, and a community of real brothers and sisters. When I lacked trust and community, He placed my classmates before me to love me in the right moments, nag me in the right way, joke with me when I needed laughter, listen to me when I needed an ear, speak truth when I needed correction. I have to say, a year ago I could have never imagined to be where I am now, but the joy that He has filled my heart through relationships, experiences, and truth, took me to a tangible understanding of God’s perfect timing and what it means to take a leap of faith. As it says in Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” I encourage you to let God work in His perfect timing for your life. Surrender your doubts and uncertainties to Him and take a leap of faith, because He will meet you.